


Ink spots.

by weirdlyabnormal



Category: Rooster Teeth/Achievement Hunter/Funhaus RPF
Genre: Domestic Violence, F/M, Homophobia, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Internalized Homophobia, M/M, Trans Character, Transphobia
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-11-12
Updated: 2015-11-19
Packaged: 2018-05-01 08:43:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con, Underage
Chapters: 5
Words: 7,101
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5199473
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/weirdlyabnormal/pseuds/weirdlyabnormal
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Basically a very cliche highschool au where everyone is kinda fucked up<br/>-<br/>Ray was fucked up, Micheal bursting with electricity and anger, Gavin was getting goosebumps when his best friend touched him. Jack was in the wrong body, Ryan was unable to feel anything, and Geoff itching to protect them all from forces he couldn't control.</p><p>And everything, as always, was fine.<br/>Completely and utterly fine.</p><p>~ON HIATUS~</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. "I freezing my damn balls of"

It was dark and starting to snow, and a group of boys were sitting in a hatchback car. One of the windows was rolled down as a scrawny boy smoked, his knees tucked into his chest. It was silent, oddly, for them.

That was, until Micheal Jones decided to interupt it:

"Jesus christ I'm freezing my damn balls of"

"Oh no, how you gunna fuck Gavin now?"

Gavin snorted while Micheal sighed: "Piss of Ray, can you not just stop smoking for another couple of seconds so we can roll up the window"

Ray obliged, flicking the cigarette out the window (it was almost done anyway) and closing the window. They were waiting for Jack to get out of his house so they could go to this random party Geoff's friend had invited them to. There was five of them in the group- Ray, Micheal, Gavin, Geoff and Jack. They'd been friends since freshman year- they were now Juniors at the local highschool.

They'd been waiting over 20 minutes for Jack when the first crash was heard. It sounded like the breaking of a plate, which was followed by a yell- a womans voice. Even through the car doors they could hear the yelling, which had now been joined by another voice- a man's.

"Is that- That's Jack isn't it?"

Geoff shoved his door open, followed closely by the others (excluding Ray who kept in the drivers seat- leaving a car unlocked while unsupervised in this neighbourhood even for 10 minutes was dumb as fuck). They had been waiting in the car, having sent Jack a text telling him they were here, but if Jack was in trouble there was no way they were going to sit back and let it happen.

They were speed walking up the drive, and Geoff had just rung the doorbell (for want of another action) when Jack stormed out of the house, the sudden movement startling Geoff to almost trip over his feet. He ran to the car and the others sprinted back as well after a couple of beats of confusion.

"What the fuck was that?" and "Jack, what the hell just happened" were said by Micheal and Gavin respectively- but none of the others paid any attention to them. Ray was driving, Gavin in shotgun, while Jack and Geoff and Micheal sat in the back.

Jack was crying.

Actually crying.

You have to understand- the last time any of them had seen Jack cry, he'd been 14 and had fallen down a flight of stairs to break his left leg in 4 places.

Panic set in. Gavin was looking shocked at Micheal, who seemed to be trying not to look overly scared. Ray was trying to keep focused on finding a layby to stop in, while Geoff was trying to initiate contact with Jack who was shrugging out of it everytime. 

Jack stopped crying, whiping his face. Ray finally found a layby on the snowy road and pulled over, and turned to face Jack.

"There's no way we're going to the party now" 

"No please, I'm fine, let's go"

"Are you kiding me right now?" Geoff objected

"Geoff just shut up okay, I'm fine" 

"You're obviously n-" Gavin started

"Just shut up okay? Let's just go to this goddamed party" Jack snapped.

After a beat of silence Micheal spoke. "Look I didn't really want to go anyway, why don't we just go to my house and we can watch Netflix".

They all looked expectantly at Jack to see if he'd object and when he didn't and smiled softly instead, Ray did a perfect U turn and started driving to Micheal's home

~~~~  _Micheals House, 9:57 pm ~~~~_

"Hey mom I'm back"

"Already? Is everyth- Oh hello guys"

Micheal's mother was very sweet, and also a very devout christian. Micheal wore a cross around her, and none of the boys swore or blasphemed, the shock on her face was absolutely heart shattering each time. His father wasn't as kind, he believed in strict punishment, but his mother tended to keep him in reign. 

Micheal had only arrived at school with a black eye twice.

But anyway, only his mother was in tonight so it was okay, and she left the living room so they could have it to themselves, after asking them to make sure their parents were okay with them staying over.

Micheal set out the sofa bed and, with Geoff, moved a mattress for the floor. They started watching How to Get Away With Murder, but their attention seemed to wander, and soon they started to just fool around, Micheal tackling Gavin over as he squeaked.

"Are we seriously having a slumber party right now?" Geoff laughed, his voice breaking slightly.

"Yeah right we are bitch get your pj's on." Ray laughed back.

Jack was still quieter than usual, but he was smiling every now and then. None of them were going to push him to tell them what happened (Micheal did however have to elbow Gavin a couple of times to shut him up).

Ray started to look at the snapchat stories of all the people at the party they'd missed. Basically, from what he could gather, everyone was completely wasted and Ryan Haywood- the most attractive person at their school in Ray's opinion- was kissing various girls and almost naked in only breifs. Ray was regtetting missing the party now.

Ray had known he was gay since he was 11 and stumbled across some gay porn on an accidental ad clicking incident.

Safe to say it was pretty traumatic.

Micheal knew, and so did Jack (Jack knew pretty much everyone's buisness). And, well, Ray's casual hookups from grindr also knew about his queerness (technically he was too young to join but that hadn't stopped him).

He wasn't sure why he hadn't told the others. They all knew Micheal was gay (but his father definately didn't) and Gavin was gay in some variety (to be honest, Gav hadn't actually told them, but Geoff and Ray had found him making out with one of Gavin's brothers friends).

(It was a pretty big surprise).

Geoff had never really dated anyone seriously- he'd go out on a date occasionally with one of the girls from school but they would never actually go steady.

Jack hadn't dated anyone ever, despite the fact he'd been asked out several times by the girls from school.

Their sexualities weren't, usually at the forground of their minds, and everyone had been so  _good_ with Micheal when they finally found out why he had been so explosively angry for the few months before his coming out. He had figured out he was gay and had gone into some kind of state of self loathing when he started to comprehend it.

Ray was sure if he told them they'd be pretty cool about it, probably wouldn't even care, but he just wasn't really ready yet. And, if those online articles were anything to go by it was 'perfectly normal' to want to wait 'until the timing was right for you'.

Ray hated those articles- with all their condesending messages and reminders to wear condoms.

Back in reality, Jack gasped all of a sudden when a close up of a man's face was shown on the TV. Obviously this was an important plot development Ray had completly missed because to him he just looked like a sad old man with blue eyes, not some kind of pshycopathic killer.

"At least Jack was feeling better", Ray thought. Geoff was currrently sitting really closely next to Jack on the sofa bed. Ray would bet serious money Geoff was really worried about Jack right now and wanted nothing better that to hurt whoever had made him this sad. Jack and Geoff had always been close friends, and on drunken nights they would often be found with Jack piggybacking a wasted Geoff home.

Ray was pretty sure they'd make a pretty cute couple.

Just then, a plot device was used that even Ray got and all the boys in unison looked around amazed (well, all the boys except Gavin.)

And just like that, everything had the same illusion of normailty it always had had, and nothing, really, had changed.

Ray was still fucked up, Micheal still bursting with electricity and anger, Gavin was still getting goosebumps when his best friend touched him. Jack was still in the wrong body, and Geoff still itching to protect them all from forces he couldn't control.

And everything, as always, was fine.

Completely and utterly fine.

 

 


	2. Hushed thoughts.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi!  
> I sort of have a plan for this story, I sort of don't. ((More raywood to come later on I'm sorry they aren't the focous at the moment)). Anyway, I'm gunna try to update as regularly as possible but I'm doing my GCSE's at the moment so I'm a little busy. Also, I'm super sorry if I get anything wrong with the American school system or America in general since I'm English. Trigger warning for domestic abuse in this chapter.

Gavin's POV  
I didn't really understand.  
I mean, I didn't really understand a lot of things (like how snails always snuck up on you, and why my dog literally went mad everytime someone rang the doorbell), but at this moment, specifically, I didn't understand why Jack was so sad. I know I came across as insensitive when I asked him questions about it, but I was just so worried. Jack was sort of the rock of our friendship group- the mum friend as we usually called him. He always kept everyone in check if they were being excessively mean to someone, but could completely hold his own in the fistfights Geoff was always picking, or the ones people were always starting against Ray and me (to be honest I understood, we were easy pickings, skinny and strange).

Seeing Jack so sad was upsetting, but everyone could see how much more Geoff was effected than anyone else. Geoff had been sitting right next to Jack all evening, looking over to him more than usual to check if he was okay. Now we were in the weird phase of the night where everyone was finding everything hysetically funny; we'd abandoned the netflix after a couple of episodes for Rays 'super hyper masculine truth or dares for our super hyper masculine slumber party'. So far, Micheal had downed half a bottle of BBQ sauce, Geoff had talked about the time he had almost sex with awkward-Becky, and I had talked about how I was still a virgin (Jack and I were the only virgins, Jack because he didn't care and I because I really wanted to save it- I know I sound like some pathetic weirdo.) Micheal lost his when he was going through the time between realsing he was gay and coming out to the group, and Ray had never really put any faith in the idea of saving himself (he never told us who he had lost it to, or who he had sex with, but Ray didn't really lie so we believed him.) Geoff lost his when he was 14 and drunk at a house party.

He didn't like to talk about it.

Micheal and my legs were tangled together on the mattress on the floor, which was making me feel all kinds of things. We had been close friends for several years now, ever since I moved from England, and I was the first to find out he was gay. He was also the first I told I was bi. I haven't told the others yet explicitly, but Ray and Geoff had walked in on me and my brothers mate so it's pretty safe to assume they at least have an inkling.

I have two brothers, one 21 (Daniel- he always buys us alcohol) and one aged 17 (Vincent). I'm 16 so I'm the youngest in the family. My father left when I was 11 years old, and we had just moved to America, leaving my mother not only with three young kids but in a completely new country. Ultimately she had to take 3 minimum wage jobs, which she still works at now. My brothers and I have all got jobs to help out our mum, and while we still struggle with money, it's much better than it used to be, when I was 12 and Vincent and I had to share a single bed in a shitty flat with only enough food for one meal a day.

Micheal and I had met on my first day of school. He saw me being picked on by some trainee fuckboy about my accent and my over entusiastic attitude. Micheal came over, told him to piss of (a big deal when you're 11), and we spent the rest lunch talking about the new pokemon game (pokemon black and white I think).  
I met his parents a couple of weeks later. His mother was incredibly nice, and it was weird to see how sweet Micheal acted around her compared to how defensive and angry he acted in school.

It was also weird to see how much he flinched at his fathers sudden movements.

Micheal called me one night after a particularly bad beating. Now he calls me everytime it's a hard beating, needing the support of another human. I've always been around to pick up the peices, cleaning his split lips and belt buckle welts when he was too in shock to do basic first aid, allowing him to cry on my shoulder and hug me tight.  
He was so so vunerable. And it killed me so much every time he called me after a beating, asking to meet up in the local all night diner so I could sort him out and calm him down.

To see Micheal cry, and know I had no way to help, well, it was like swallowing poision and feeling my fingers beginning to numb.

Rays POV  
Watching Ryan's snapchat was the single most depressing thing I've ever done. The number of girls he's kissed has gone up to 11. He's completely and utterly wasted now, and probabaly high as well judging by the glazed look in his eyes and his weird movements. I was kind of worried for him, but then again he probably wouldn't be worried for me if it was the other way around.

I didn't know him, and he didn't know me.

That's the way it's going to stay.

Jacks POV  
I was competely screwed. Geoff was playing with my hair now as I sat next to him on the fold out sofa. I've never been a big fan of physical contact, but it was diffrent with Geoff.

Everything was diffrent with Geoff.

Which, linking back, was exactly why I was so completely screwed. If I told Geoff, if I told him about how much I detest my body, how nothing, absolutely nothing, matched or fitted or worked, about how I was a girl, he would hate me.

He would hate me and I would be left alone in this world without the one person who I could trust, the one person who actually believed in me.

I didn't want this friendship, the single most important thing in my life, completely ruined for the sake of me being assigned the wrong gender 17 years ago at birth.

But now I was lying to him wasn't I? Or at the very least living some weird kind of double life. I really wanted to tell him, but I didn't want to see the same facial expression I'd seen on my mother mirrored on his face.

A complete look of disgust.

No, I couldn't risk it. I couldn't I couldn't I couldn't.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't know if this is long enough... I'm gunna try and get some of the basic background storys sorted first before any really big plot developments happen so they are easier to comprehend.


	3. Homes and hopes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is pretty a whole load of nothing. Enjoy!

Geoff’s POV

When I woke up, Jack's body was pressed next to mine. I was lying on my back, Jack curled into my side. At some point during the night he must've grabbed my hand, as they were linked between our bodies. He was so peaceful when he slept, and for a moment I could forget his tear stained face from last night. Jack was my favourite person, probably. We'd been best friends since elementary school, and we'd been through a lot together. He'd helped me when I'd lost my virginity at that party, which I should have been fucking pumped about- what 14 year old boy doesn't want sex with a 17 year old girl?

This 14 year old apparently.

I was completely wasted at that party- it was my first time properly drinking so I didn't know when to stop. I hadn't even really been invited, my friends were going so I thought it would be fun to come along. Jack refused to go. We were in the middle of an argument, one of only a couple we've ever had.

I was near to passed out when a girl picked me up, took me to a bathroom, and, well, did it. All I really remember was her laughing and leaving me exposed and vomiting in a bathtub before passing out.

I don't even remember her face.

All my other friends acted like I was some kind of stud, I was the first of them to lose my virginity, and to an older girl at that. Jack was the only one who realised I wasn't okay. Jack never liked physical contact, but I noticed that whenever people were talking about sex (which was a lot- we were teenage boys after all) or I was overly stressed, he would gently touch my arm, or move closer to me. One day, when we were alone in my house, he hugged me, which was a huge deal for him, and we were just so much closer, without us having to say a single thing. I loved him for that.

I'm straight, but the one person I would make an exception for would be Jack. I don't think I'm bi or anything though, Jack's the only boy I've felt any sort of feelings for. Anyway, I would never act on it.

Micheal and Gavin were spooning, Micheal as the little spoon which was quite funny considering he was at least twice the size of Gavin. Gavin's head was tucked into the other's neck and they were completely pressed together on the mattress.

I wake them before one of Michael’s parents walk in.

Michaels POV

Geoff was shaking me awake. I wasn't sure why until I felt the body pressed next to me, arms around my waist. I flinched away, pushing him of me. Gavin woke with a start, and I felt guilty for a second, but then I remembered what would have happened if my father walked in.

"Morning!" Ray interrupted, and then laughed, as we all jumped at the sudden noise. He was doing something on his mobile in the armchair in the corner of the room. Everyone was wearing the same clothes as yesterday, and we all kind of stunk of BO.

I went into the kitchen to make some coffee and grab some cereal and bowls. My mother wasn't up yet- you could tell by how her favourite mug hadn't been used yet for her morning tea. I made her some PG tips and brought it up to my parent’s room. My parents were both asleep, my father must've got home sometime late last night- hopefully he was drunk enough to not have checked in and seen Gavin and I (or Jack and Geoff for that matter.) Jack seemed unhappy still, and I saw him pull Ray aside at some point to talk. I didn't want to eavesdrop so I walked past as quietly as possible. Whatever it was that was upsetting Jack I was glad he at least had someone to talk to about it (though I was a little surprised it wasn't Geoff.)

Gavin ate half a packet of cereal on his own, with his hair even messier than usual. Gavin had told me about how he used to go with barely any food for weeks at a time when he was younger so he always eats huge amounts now as some weird instinct. Whenever he was around my house I would make sure he'd get double helpings of any food, and I had gotten into the habit of bringing in extra lunch for him, since I knew money and food was still tight. It was the least I could do for him seeing how much he looked after me when my dad lost his temper.

My father would never hit a woman, so my mother had never been hurt by him, but this rule didn't seem to extend to children. He had first hit me when I was nine. I'd lost my temper over something, and he'd lost his temper over my attitude, and he'd thumped me in the stomach, sending me flying. My mother had stopped him from doing anything worse, but the damage was done. A few days later he'd begged for my forgiveness. Now, when he beats me, he obviously doesn't give a shit about my forgiveness since he barely acknowledges anything different.

I love him though. For me, the man who taught me how to ride a bike, got me into American football and tucked me into sleep was a completely different person to the man who hit me, and hit me more if I dare cry.

Rays POV

I fell asleep the fastest out of all the group. On nights like this, when they are so blindingly in love with each other, I find myself a bit of a fifth wheel. It's usually better than this, but since Jack and Geoff are so occupied with whatever’s fucking Jack over and Micheal and Gavin are making heart eyes at each other yet again, well, I’m kind of screwed. It doesn’t matter too much- I finally completed that level in Mario.

When Michael leaves to get cereal, Jack pulls me out of the room.

“Ray, I was wondering if I would be able to stay at your house, you know, just for a couple of days” Jack looked weirdly vulnerable, and was avoiding eye contact with me.

I was confused. Why wasn’t Jack asking Geoff?

“I guess you can, my mom probably won’t mind. Are you- you know- okay?”

“I don’t know Ray. Thanks for letting me stay.”

“Do you have any change of clothes? We can go back to your house for a bit before you come around? Or I could ask Geoff if he’d drop round for you if you don’t want to go round yourself?”

“No, don’t tell Geoff I’m staying at yours.”

“Are you guys arguing or something? You seemed okay this morning? Did he say somethi-“

“No, god no, Geoff and me are fine, it’s just, he’ll worry you know. He’ll want to know why I’m not going home.”

“To be fair, I want to know why you’re not going home too”

“Yeah, but you won’t bug me to find out”

“Geoff wouldn’t do that.”

“I just don’t want Geoff to know okay? Please Ray.”

“Okay, okay. I’m driving everyone home remember? I’ll just drop everyone off and we can get out together, and I guess I could ask my brother for some of his clothes for you to wear.” He smiled at me then, touched my elbow and walked back into Michael’s living room.

Third Person POV

They all piled into Ray’s hatchback, excluding Michael of course. Ray had saved up for two years of Walmart jobs to meet his parents halfway for this car, and therefore he was incredibly protective of it. Even though it was his car, he would never smoke in it unless the window was open, and if you dropped a single bit of rubbish on the floor Ray would have your head.

Geoff’s house was the nearest to Michaels. It was your stereotypical suburban family home, Geoff parents both had well paid jobs, and he and his little sisters were pretty well of. Geoff’s house was the one of choice to watch movies in, with its completely fully stocked kitchen and amazing television.

They passed Ray’s house on the way to Gavin’s. Gavin lived in a tiny house with a rundown appearance. It had no front or back garden, and the design was shockingly ugly- three plain windows and one door with peeling paint surrounded by cheap white plaster. Ray was ashamed of himself for being scared of this neighbourhood, they were probably all nice people, but television dramas had sort of programed him to think otherwise.

Gavin left the car, carrying the cereal and fruit that Michael had insisted had gone past their sell by so it was cool for Gavin to take it (in actuality, Michael had brought the food yesterday, but Gavin didn’t have to know that.)

Finally, it was just Jack and Ray. Ray turned his car around to drive back to his house. His home was fairly modest, definitely not huge, but big enough to live comfortably. His parents were divorced, but it was all fairly amicable, his father paid his child support for him and his brother and visited him in the holidays so it was alright in Ray’s eyes. Ray’s mother was strict, but definitely not controlling. She worked as a small lawyer, and she was fairly successful, so they were alright money wise. Ray unlocked the door to allow Jack and him into the house. His mother was out, probably at work or at her boyfriend’s house. Ray was old enough to accept that his mother could date whoever she liked- and her current boyfriend was really nice so it was perfectly okay with him.

Jack was worried. When she’d stormed out of the house, she hadn’t thought about anything like school books or money, or even clothes. She would have to go back to that house at some point, she would have to face his mother some time. She had 17 missed calls from her, and hadn’t checked her voicemail yet, but was pretty sure they would be descriptions of just how disgusted she was at ‘his phase’.

Jack decided she was going to tell Ray. She knew that he wouldn’t tell anyone else, something strengthened by her knowledge of his queerness. Jack was also pretty sure he’d be accepting, he was an avid supporter of Trans rights, and had a transgender cousin.

The only problem was how. How could she tell him? He would be the first person she’d ever uttered the secret to, and she had absolutely no idea how she was supposed to do it.

Her mother had found out by her internet search history. Jack didn’t have the chance to tell her, and even though Jack knew that it would never have altered her response, it was still a little upsetting.

Everything was moving just a little too fast for the girl. Within two days everything had fallen apart, but she knew it would be at least slightly better if she had someone on her side.

Now all she had to do was hope Ray would be kind, and not think too hard about facing her mother. Which was pretty fucking impossible.


	4. Character development (?)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is pretty much a filler, with minor plot development. I wrote this chapter kinda stupidly straight onto ao3 which meant when my wifi went down I lost the entierity of the chapter which was pretty damn annoying. I sorta just wanted to put up an update so it's not my best.

Third person POV

Ryan could feel himself being pulled from his sleep. He was fighting to stay under the warmth and protection of the slumber, but it was no use, and soon he was opening his eyes and yawning. His head was pounding, and he was freezing on a unfamiliar laminated kitchen floor in nothing but his underpants. He tried to sit, but it felt like his head was being split open, and his brain slowly picked at.

This was definately his least favourite part of drinking.

After about five minutes of patheticness, Ryan managed to stand up, and slowly but surely started to take in his surroundings. Several other people were in similar positions to him, albeit more dressed. A couple other people were awake and moving in the same hangover state Ryan fould himself in. Whoever's house this was was seriously fucked, it was as if a bomb (well, a bomb filled with glitter and vomit) had blown up in the middle of the presumably once impressive dining room.

He grabbed a discarded t-shirt with large beer stains and, after ten minutes of searching, managed to find his jeans which had somehow managed to end up as a pillow for a completely hammered freshman girl (who he accidently woke up, but it didn't matter. She was still drunk enough to fall back to sleep almost imediately). He got dressed quickly, and felt completely blessed to find his mobile and wallet still in his jean pockets, but however hard he searched he couldn't find his favourite leather jacket. Someone probably stole it, meaning Ryan was going to feel the arctic wind outside even more.

Ryan wanted nothing more than to get home, take an hour long shower, and then sleep off the hangover for the rest of the day.

Unfortunately, he had a Physics project that he hadn't even thought about starting yet due Monday. His project partner, Barbara, was also a good friend of his, meaning she wasn't gunna put up with any of his flakey shit. Ryan had many casual aquantiances, drinking buddies he guesses. Everyone wants to know the rich captain of the track team whocan hold his liquor pretty damn well.

It also helped that Ryan was incredibly attractive and had worked as a male model, for adverts mostly but he had been to a couple fashion shows around the US.

Ryan was single at the moment. He usually had a girl on the go, which would last about a month before he broke up with her. The high of a new person to sleep with, a new virginity to take, well, it wore of pretty quick, and then he was back to normal.

Empty. A shell of a normal person.

He tried to fill the emptiness with alcohol, sex, and more recently drugs, which would work, for at least a few hours, before it would all ebb away again.

And he was starting to think the fall from the high wasn't worth the high itself, he was left worse of than when he started.

He was diving from a cliff, falling and falling.

And one day he'd have to hit the choppy water below.

Ray's POV

We'd been playing COD for about three hours now, barely speaking. This was usual with Jack and I, when we got involved in a game we'd play non stop with no interaction apart from the necassary. Jack wasn't the best at these kid of games, but it didn't really matter. 

My brother wasn't in, probably out at work (the local drug store). My brother was a few years older than me at 23, and a complete idiot if I'm honest, but he was a pretty good brother. He had a long term girlfriend who he was thinking of proposing to, as highschool sweethearts. Luckily for Jack, my brother was the same clothes size as him, so I stole him a fresh shirt and a pair of jeans.

My mother got in at around 2 o'clock, explaining she'd gone out to lunch with her boyfriend. She said Jack could stay the night, but only if I completed my homework. I have dyslexia, so my mother gets quite into my school work and homework in an attempt to help me out, which basically means she always knows if I've got homework due, and always knows if I'm lying about doing it.

My dyslexia is quite bad, my worst being my reading. The letters get mixed up in my head and it takes me like 5 minutes to read a page in a book. It means that I'm failing English and Science, but I'm pretty good at maths if I take the time to read the question or equation. I also really love art, even though I'm not particularly good at drawing. Acrylics and, funnily enough, embrodiary are my favourite mediums. Computing is okay for me, it's confusing but if I take it slow enough I can be really good at it.

I want to be a games designer, but it's gunna be hard to become one if I can't really read very well.

My brother came home for about an hour before going out again at around 3, and then my mother left for a so called 'emergency' at work (probably another date with her boyfriend).

Me and Jack started laughing and messing about when we were home alone. We were mouthing the words to some of the weird songs on the radio as I put a pizza in the oven, and everything felt a bit more normal, even if it was just for a few seconds.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ehhhhh I'm unhappy with this... I'll probabaly update this weekend (?) and hopefully it'll have some actual plot yay


	5. "I love you, no homo dude, but still, I love you and god nothing's gunna change that."

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Secrets and phone calls and text messages and nine-year-old-girl-like-crying.

Third Person POV

_Sunday afternoon._

Ryan got home at about 11 in the morning. He showered for about an hour, and had what can only be described as a power nap until 2. When he work up, he felt much better, and realised he probably wasn't half as hungover as he thought he was.

Ray was eating pizza while making unremarkable, but funny, conversation with Jack (mostly at Gavin's expense).

Jack was constructing the perfect coming out speach in her head. So far she had about a sentence.

Geoff was doing Maths homework- more specifically Trig.

Gavin was working a three-hour McDonalds shift, while being completely exhausted. He was probably gunna pass out before he got home.

Micheal just got back from church, and was finishing his half of his and Gavins physics project. Gavin and him often partnered up for projects, since they were in a weird number of classes together. Gavin was better than him in Maths, and Micheal better than him in English, but aside from that they were pretty much equally matched.

This was one of the few remaining moments before everything changes.

But then again, change for the better, isn't it?

_Sunday evening._

Jacks POV

It had been quiet for around an hour, Ray on his DS and myself trying to do homework on Ray's moms laptop. 

I'm ready. Or at least, I'm pretty sure I am. 

This was going to be a complete opposite coming out to Ray's.

Ray had been drunk, completely wasted, at a party at Geoff's house (Micheal's house was bigger, but his parents definately wouldn't have approved of anything they do at parties.) I had found the boy crying in the bathroom, sobbing about someone called Daniel. I had led Ray to a spare bedroom and talked to him about it. Turned out, Daniel was Ray's first one night stand. I knew now that since that guy, Ray had slept with a lot of random boys, with very little care for the emotional effect of this. 

Ray had made it explicit to me that he didn't want to talk about it, and anyway, I wasn't one to judge. If the guy wanted to have a lot of sex, it wasn't my place to stop him.

I'm aiming for a pretty normal, calm coming out. Ideal outcome was a little bit of emotional sharing, maybe at most a hug. However, I knew it could go completely the other way. Ray could never want to tal-STOP

I can't think this way. I'm pshycing myself up over nothing. It's better to just come out and say it:

"Ray, I'm, um..." Ray looked up from whatever it was that he was playing, the overjoyus jingling music continuing. I gulped, and felt the jumble of emotions that had been growing and grumbling all day reach its fill as I said the words I had been dreading all day.

"I'm trans. Um, well I mean I'm transgender you know? Well obviously you don't but anyway I'm... well I'm a girl."

 Gavins POV

"Hey Micheal you finished your bit of the phyics yet?"

"Ehh... almost... Rainbows are fucking epic dude, like all those seperate raindrops all like come together to make all those colours and shit?"

I couldn't stop myself from smiling. I always loved it when Micheal learnt something like that, he would gush about it like it had completely blown his mind.

"I know right? When you're done, email it to me and I'll put it together with my part. Oh, I'll send you my bit as well so you can learn what you'll have to say tomorrow"

"Hey hey, boi, who said doing things last minute never pays of, cause we just proved them fucking wrong."

"That was me. Jesus Christ, remember the volcano project in junior high? When all you had to do was look up how much vinegar we had to put it, and you completely forgot and fucked up to explode our whole volcano?"

"Dude you have to admit that was fucking epic"

"I smelt of a mingey fish and chip shop for a fortnight!"

"Just the price you pay livening up a science class."

Jack's phone.

> _15 new text messages_

**Geoff:** hey dude u alright? u were really upset earlier

 **Geoff:** i thought you might like to tell me what was wrong over text so no one else culd overhear?

 **Geoff:** i mean u dont have to tell me anything

 **Geoff:** its probabaly really personal i get it, but if u need somewhere to crash my parents love u so theyll be cool if u stayed for a bit?

 **Geoff:** youd tell me if u were in trouble right? i wouldnt be able to bear it if something shitty was happening to you and i couldnr help.

 **Geoff:** dude that sounded super gay lol

 **Mogar:** Ray told me u were staying at his so you needed some school books? Were taking similar classes i think so I could come round afterschool tomorow and we could study using my books? would that help?

 **Geoff:** please dude just tell me ur okay?

 **Geoff:** im super worried

 **Mogar:** I know this sounds insensitive, but if ur mum is abusing u or something please know that I can help? 

 **Mogar:** I mean, i can kinda relate if its something like thant

 **Mogar:** But i get that its a sensitive subject so ill just shut up

 **Gav:** Could you make a face look like someone else's face if you had their face tattoed on your face?

 **Gav:** Wait nevermind 

 **Geoff:**  jack dude please text me

Ray's POV

"I'm trans. Um, well I mean I'm transgender you know? Well obviously you don't but anyway I'm... well I'm a girl." Jack's breath was shaky.

I closed my DS and sat up straight on the cold leather sofa.

"Is that... is that why you needed to stay here?"

"My mom, well, she found out and she didn't take it so well. I stormed out and I don't know, I'm really scared to go back."

Jack looked like he-she?- was about to cry so I reached out my hand to grab her arm.

She evaded it.

"Look, I get it if you don't want to be my friend anymore, I really do, just... please. Please don't tell anyone."

"Jack, you idiot." Jack's eyes sprung up to mine as I continued "You'll always be my friend, always okay? God, I'm not gunna motherfucking abandon you for such a small detail. You are so kind and so good, and I know I sound like some complete pussy right now but seriously Jack stop. I love you, no homo dude, but still, I love you and god nothing's gunna change that."

And then he hugged me. And cried. And because he (sorry I mean she) cried I cried. And god, even though we looked like a couple of nine year old girls making up after an argument, we sat there on the leather sofa sobbing and gripping to each other for way longer than needed.

And I didn't feel half as embarrassed as I normally would have.

We pulled apart.

"So um... while we pretend that never happened, do you, you know, want me to call you another name or something? Sorry I don't really know how this shit works" I smiled, and nudged him with my elbow.

"No, no no, um, it's cool I don't really know how this shit works either. I think I'm gunna stick with Jack, and I guess when I'm older I can officially change my name to Jacquline or something if it's a big deal."

"I'm supposed to call you she from now on right? And no more calling you dude?"

"Eh, I'm cool with you calling me dude as long as you're nice about it. It's so weird thinking that after 16 years someone is finally gunna call me she you know? And I mean I would be so happy if you did, but I mean, obviously I don't want you to in front of other people"

"Okay.... Are you gunna tell anyone else? I mean, you probably are in the long run, but you know, soom? You know Geoff would protect you with his motherfucking life if someone gave you shit about it"

"What if Geoff doesn't like me anymore? You know, if I tell him?"

"You know that could never happen. Geoff and you are so goddamed close, and he would never abandon you"

"But you don't know that, not for sure."

"True, I don't know 100%, but you have to take a risk with these things. How awful would it be to have to hide this from some one as important to you as Geoff?"

"You can talk."

As soon as she said it, I knew she wanted to take it back. She said sorry immediately, and of course I forgave him (no-her). She was obviously going through a rough spot right now.

Third Person POV

Gavin fell asleep texting Micheal, the conversation which had started as something about the powerpoint presentation had quickly turned into conspiracy theorys about various animals.

Micheal sighed when he realised what had happened. Micheal knew Gavin was probably tired from work today, an hour at Dunkin' Doghnuts and three hours at McDonalds, so it would be selfish to expect him to stay up, but still, Micheal always fell asleep better after saying goodnight to the boy.

Jack fell asleep on a blow up matress in Ray's room, still grinning, happiness radiating of her.

Ray was happy too, but underneath it he felt worry for his friend. Jack's life was going to have so much hardship, that she would never have had if she was cisgender.

Geoff was also worried for Jack, the anxiety spinning its way around his mind, forming spider webs of possible problems, of alternative situations where Jack needed his help, but he would never be there to give it.

Ryan couldn't sleep. He dry-swallowed a couple of melatonin pills and was out in 20 minutes.

And everything was slightly diffrent to when they had woken up, but it definately was better. Just a bit, just a little. 

But this was going to change.

Anyone with foresight could tell you that.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi! I sorta tried to try a new style but it got weaker the further into this chapter I got... oh well I'm updating and thats what matters. Also I'm sorry I'm writing them like they're completely pathetic I'm sorry hopefully it'll get more true to character. Also sorry for all the POV shifts...  
> Follow me on tumblr, (weirdly-anormal) I need people to share au's and shit with.


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